Cant get to sleep!  Rare thing, really really rare.

Tomorrow marks the first day of the sept break, which means im supposed to start mugging agn tomorrow rawr. I dont want lah. I find myself covering my ears, hitting my head, rolling on the bed when i wake up and am reminded that the big Os are less than two months awayyyyy. Its like a hmmmmm nightmare! Yes nightmare. And plus based on the major-er papers that we just completed (prelims), its gonna be L1R5 of >20 for sure ): But prelims are supposed to be like that righttttt, like make you scared then will chiong for Os. But the thing is, i dont even feel that i will be scared etc. Really needa get rid of this complancency and "Os are much more lenient" feeling. Oh man, really need Lord's helppppp. Running out of time lah.

( See, im spending my time ranting instead of studying)

Friday was history prelim, the last memorising kinda subject! Stupid school made us clear lockers ( Yknow how freaking heavy was it! ) Shouldnt they provide trolley or something, ugh, inconsiderate. And it spoiled our plan of going town straight after school ends haiyo. So cabbed to dwi's house with our two mountains. Dwi's house very nice to slack and bathe :D machiam resort, hahaha. My mountain still in her house now! After that was the proposal at The cathay ((: chiong-ed for hof.

Saturday, create prac in the morninggg (super duper fruitful!) Still thinking how im supposed to get to SP this thursdayyyy alamak. then bao and i went scgs! For fun ((: And many attempted to chase us home to studyyy, and had to explain to everyone that, holidays lah, must take break!  Witnessed indoor board games, hilarious lah lol. Had dinner with bao jas mic cs yongh david emma at far east. Food exhibition ((:

Today, played for tkk eleven! Omgggg the kids jumped during worship! ((:  tsk. then lunched at eigheen chefs, homed and did nothing. Dinner-ed at angmokio w/ jas mic cs emma manf nelw gab vir ( according to table arrangment a S11) hahaha. And and and some void deck table after tht! I hope after Os will have more of this kinda void deck gatherings yay :D No more of these from now till Os, must control!

Scandal makers tomorrow with them ((: still thinking of how to get outta the house, zzz.
Nights people.

I chose to ignore.
*Gives myself a pat on the shoulder*
Well done bert.

FIRST OF SEPTEMBER.
Goodness lah, Its next month alrd, who can believe it D:
And prelims resume tomorrow! (Ugh)

You felt so far away from me, and I didnt like a single bit of it at all.

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Current Mood

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exhausted

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Previous posted deleted.
Start on a fresh page.
All the disappointments ive got from you, shall be erased  too.
(L)

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crushed

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I need A's parrotness. I need B's reassurance. I need C's sunshine. I need D's presence. I need E's accompany. I need F's cheekiness
I need G's hugs. (These letters do not represent initials) Alamak im missing many many people all of a sudden; horrible feeling and its distracting me from studying ugh. I think im moodswinging big time haiyo wth is wrong with me. And this person who's talking to me now online is just making things worse by repeatedly poking at my strong sense of possessiveness.

Banging on your front door,
my pride's spilled on the floor.

 

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discontent

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Napfa 2.4km timing sucked, like totally.
No training = baaaaaad stamina! Ahhhhhh.
Worse timing in my whole entire life, wth (!!!!)
( I cant get rid of the italic thingy now, greattt )
I seriously wonder when i would learn to not jog during napfa
supposed to chiong that 6rounds rightttt.
Third year already ughhh.

Buttttt, so and so's presence at hub totally made my day (:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY STEPH NEHNEH SUTEDJA FANGNEH! :]
"Our love's frictionless"

Ahahaha im finally updating, after like, four weeks.
Hmm sec4 life so far still managable, prolly cause ive not started mugging hard yet
and midyears in like what, three weeks !?
at least the vjc dream is still there :D 
Ive got Silver for colours award! hurray, cause i was expecting a COA.

 

Daichii kids should be home by now, preparing for school tomorrow.

Hosting was really superb, i'd do anything to make the clock turn back.
Oh manzxzx i really miss them alotttt D:
I'd probably do a longggg post on this whole wonderful weekend with the Daichii kids next week.
I MISS OCHI KANA RINA NATSUKI FUMI MAO MASATAKA YAMAMOTO MIKI ETC!

Disheartened.
It came as a big blow, eventhough i tried to be mentally prepared like, two weeks ago. I saw my position fading away. I tried, really hard. but probably just not hard enough. I should've never been in it in the first place, cause coming out would just be almost impossible to bear and thats what im going through now. Today was my last chance, and i totally screwed it up, unknowingly ( I have to admit ).  And honestly, until now, i still dont know why. Fought hard for it for one year and i lost it so easily.  I've never been so out of breath and I desperatey need to tide over this soooooooooon D:

A quick and random update before i get back to my linear law and temperature :D

1) I did a darn thing
2) I broke a promise to myself ( two, in fact )
3) I'll make sure Victoria's the only thing i have in mind now, till Os are over ( my ultimate goal! )
4) I think i jet lagged in my dream
5) I feel super motivated to chiong for 6points now
6) I got an A2 for OLevel chinese D:
7) I cant stop that thingy thing from bugging me
8) My sense of controllation (???)  is horrible times infinity
9) There're many things on my mind now, and its stressing me
10) Im missing and thinking of some people

I really dont know if i should be rejoicing for my A2.
I was emotionless or i should say, kinda disappointed when i saw the cert
I deserve that A2 for not studying hard.
But anyway, congralulations to the many who scored A1! (:
I still have 9 more months to chiong now. 
Ah and very very happy for my seniors who did uber well, so many six pointers! :D
That was what made me motivated to aim for 6, instead of 8! :D

Okay, netball comes first now.
First match starts this friday, WOW.
And we dont even know which school we're against with
Hmmm i have a greattttt feeling that i'll be kicked out from the team
cause of horrible performances lately.
and the worst thing is i dont even know whats wrong with meee.
Pray pray pray and pray for nicenice groupings!
That we'll get schools like _____ :X
Last training to buck up tomorrow!
Go Bird, flap your wings and flyyyyy. 
Make history for the penguin species :DDDD
Wing Attack Yaaaaa hoooooooo!

Like a paper weight pressed against my ventricles and atriums

Where're you?
 

First week of my secondary4 life. I'm very pleased with all my power pac teachers except for biology and probably english and chinese. Had many inspiring talks :O And the arrival of stress is already here! I dont care how many points i get, because right now im working hard for God, myself, parents and VJC ( which has a cut-off of a freaking 4 points ).  Pray pray and pray that my motivation doesnt give up on me halfway!

My subsequent weeks would just revolve around team mates, training and 2.4 D: Then tournaments already! AHHHH. Hopefully we can reach our peak by that time and it was really a pity that the new combination couldnt work out. Okay, Jiayou fellow wing attackers! (:

Oh God,
Open these three doors for me,
and i would ask for nothing else.


 

You know,
sometimes people just get so tired
that they have no idea what giving up is all about.
 

MERRY CHRISTMAS! 
May the miracle of christmas fill your heart with warmth and loveeee :D

 It was coming up to Christmas and Sammy asked his mum if he could have a new bike.
So, she told him that the best idea would be to write to Santa Claus.
But John, having just played a vital role in the school nativity play,
said he would prefer to write to the baby Jesus.

John went to his room and wrote
' Dear Jesus, I have been a very good boy and would like to have a bike for Christmas.'
But he wasn't very happy when he read it over.
So he decided to try again and this time he wrote
 'Dear Jesus, I'm a good boy most of the time and would like a bike for Christmas.'
He read it back and wasn't happy with that one either.
He tried a third version.
'Dear Jesus, I could be a good boy if I tried hard and especially if I had a new bike.'
He read that one too, but he still wasn't satisfied.

So, he decided to go out for a walk while he thought about a better approach.
After a short time he passed a house with a small statue of the Virgin Mary in the front garden.
He crept in,
stuffed the statue under his coat,
hurried home and hid it under the bed.

Then he wrote this letter.
'Dear Jesus, If you want to see your mother again, you'd better send me a new bike.'